Dutch law meant to enable double surnames leaves mothers blocked by fathers’ refusals
In two separate cases in Groningen and elsewhere in the Netherlands, mothers seeking to give their children a combined surname under a recent law say they were blocked when the fathers refused consent, highlighting what critics call a structural imbalance in Dutch name law, de Volkskrant reports.
Rebecca Lee, a 45-year-old entrepreneur from Groningen, and Marjolein Evers, 35, both sought to add the mothers’ surnames to their children’s names under a 2024 reform intended to allow double surnames, but both efforts were ultimately blocked after paternal opposition.
Lee said she wanted her 6-year-old daughter to carry both parents’ surnames, emphasizing her South Korean heritage. “I find it important to be able to pass on my South Korean surname. So when I heard that parents could choose a combined surname, I wanted that for her too,” Lee told de Volkskrant.
But her former husband refused consent, and without it she could not proceed. A court later rejected her request. Her ex argued she had changed her surname multiple times, questioning whether her wish was stable.
Lee disputed that, explaining she was adopted, had no connection with her adoptive parents, and changed her surname after a long personal process following a trip to South Korea.
“I am adopted, but I have no bond with my adoptive parents. When I married him, I gave up that name. Eight years ago I met my biological mother and aunts during a trip to South Korea. After that I went through a conscious and long process to change my name, not because of that biological connection, but because I feel connected to South Korea. For me it was extremely important to add my name, precisely because I fought so hard for it,” she said.
Marjolein Evers faced a similar situation. She said her children’s father initially insisted on keeping only his surname, despite her desire to pass on her own name, which is tied to a family business that has passed through generations and where she is the first female successor.
When she attempted to use a 2024 transition arrangement, her husband initially agreed but later withdrew consent after consulting his parents and a female colleague. The marriage ended during the dispute, and a court rejected her request after the transition period expired.
A separate case involved Annemijn Niehof, 47, who after a legal dispute reached agreement with her former partner, but only after the transition deadline had passed. She was then required to apply through the Justice Department (Dienst Justis), which treats the request as a formal name change with stricter requirements and additional costs. Her application was rejected, and she cannot reapply until 2027.
“And now I can only submit a request again in 2027. I find it extremely painful how a ‘no’ from my ex has completely halted everything and my daughter carries only his name until then,” Niehof said. Niehof recently testified at a Dutch parliamentary roundtable on the law.
More than 100 women have reported similar experiences to the women’s rights organization Bureau Clara Wichmann since the law took effect. The group says all complaints relate to the 2024 Act on the Introduction of Combined Surnames (WIGG), which was meant to promote equality in naming rights.
The law allows double surnames for children and included a transition rule for children born after 2016, giving parents a one-year window to add a second surname, often the mother’s. It was intended to align the Netherlands with other European countries.
However, the law requires consent from both parents. If they disagree within a marriage or registered partnership, the child automatically receives the father’s surname. Critics say this effectively gives fathers a veto, while mothers have no legal remedy if consent is withheld.
Linde Bryk of Bureau Clara Wichmann said, “Fathers effectively have a veto. If they refuse, the child gets their name. Mothers also have no legal means to challenge this; they are disproportionately burdened by this law.”
More than 40 court cases have been filed since 2024 over disputes involving double surnames. Courts have largely rejected these cases, stating they are not authorized to substitute parental consent. Advocates also say the one-year transition window is too short, and many women do not pursue legal action to avoid escalating family conflict.
Marjolein Evers said her ex-partner later argued children should decide for themselves, but she rejected that reasoning, noting children currently have no choice and initially carry only the father’s name.
Legal scholar Mirella Peereboom-Drunick of the University of Amsterdam said Dutch family law has long reflected unequal power structures.
“The history of family law in the Netherlands is fairly patriarchal. Men and fathers traditionally had a great deal of influence. Take the fact that women were legally incapacitated until 1956 once they married. They were legally considered minor children, which is not that long ago. There has been progress toward equality between men and women on many fronts. But unfortunately the current naming law is still skewed,” she said.
She also noted an additional inequality in cases involving married lesbian couples, where in disputes the child is assigned the surname of the co-mother, who effectively functions as the “legal father.” She called the system discriminatory and argued that a double surname should be the default in disputes.
Attorney Marc Schuring, who represented a father in one of the early cases, said the dispute was part of a broader conflict.
“The parents in that case had already been engaged in a legal battle for quite some time: over custody, over finances,” he said. “The father experienced the request for a double surname as yet another legal fight initiated by the mother that he did not want to engage in. Moreover, the daughter, now 7, was already used to her surname; she was known by it everywhere.”
Linde Bryk said many fathers are strongly attached to their surname, but often fail to explain why adding the mother’s name is problematic.
Sometimes, she said, surnames are used as a tool in power struggles. A woman identified only as Nienke, for privacy reasons, withdrew from speaking publicly out of fear of her ex-partner. She described a relationship marked by verbal and physical abuse and said the legal fight over surnames became part of a broader pattern of control.
“He wove institutions around his finger and managed to frame me as the vindictive ex,” she said. “I was forced to give up the request for a double surname. While that double surname is so important. It allows us to show that they belong to both parents, despite everything.”
Songül Mutluer of Progressief Nederland, who initiated a parliamentary roundtable on the issue, said she will push for legal reform and plans to submit a motion urging change. She argues that mandatory paternal consent is outdated and particularly harmful in unequal or abusive relationships.
Her proposal would make the default outcome, in cases of disagreement, an alphabetical combined surname rather than automatically assigning the father’s name, aligning with practices in neighboring countries. However, parties including the VVD and CDA have said they want to await an evaluation of the law, currently scheduled for 2027.
For Lee, that timeline is too late. “Especially in a child’s early years, they bond with a name. A surname tells you where you come from, who you belong to, and whether both parents are recognized as equals,” she said.
