Protestant church investigating whether mediation with perpetrator can help abuse victim

The Protestant Church in the Netherlands is investigating whether mediation with the perpetrator, aimed at recovery, can be helpful for victims of abuse. Some members are optimistic about the approach, but others fear that the church’s focus on forgiveness and reconciliation will pressure victims into mediation when they are not ready, Trouw reports.

The synod of the Protestant Church in the Netherlands (PKN) has long been developing a policy for dealing with victims of abuse, including both sexual and other forms of abuse. This weekend, a proposal from the executive board was presented to also offer restorative mediation.

According to the exploratory memo, in such mediation sessions, victims can share their experiences and the consequences in their lives. Perpetrators are confronted with the consequences of their actions and can offer an apology. “Voluntariness and confidentiality are the starting point,” the memo states.

Anneke van Steenwijk, an elder in Utrecht who was the victim of manipulation and intimidation by a minister, welcomes the plan. “I know how profound the suffering is and how difficult the recovery is,” she told Trouw. She believes that restorative mediation can be “helpful.”

But other church members are more skeptical. “Love and reconciliation prevail in the church. The fear is that the pressure will become too great for the victim to resort to mediation,” pastor Riegonda van Welie from Bussum told the newspaper.

Rianne Veenstra, until recently a pastor in Almere, believes the current policy already provides too much room for mediation and does not prioritize the victim as the synod promised. “The focus on restorative mediation obscures the other, equally important issues,” Veenstra said. She believes the church leaders should focus on implementing the agreed-upon legal, financial, and psychological support for victims in practice.

The idea of restorative mediation is being further developed with the caveat that it is “one of the possibilities, not the only one,” PKN president Trijnie Bouw told the newspaper.

This summer, Bouw apologised on television to three women who were victims of abuse in a PKN church by a pastor or member of the church council. In a BNNVARA podcast on the subject, Bouw said the church too quickly pushes for forgiveness in cases of abuse. “I think forgiveness has perhaps been used too long and too often to silence the victim. While for me, forgiveness is all about acknowledging guilt. The two are inextricably linked.”