Despite tremendous success, comedian Jiaoying Summers is still searching for happiness
Success seems to have come far easier to Chinese stand-up comedian Jiaoying Summers than happiness. In less than seven years as a comic, Summers released one special with Hulu, has plans for a second, launched a popular podcast, was inducted into the Asian Hall of Fame, and has sold out venues across the world, including her shows in Amsterdam at the end of April, and her Netflix Is A Joke festival set planned for Thursday night in Los Angeles. But years of derogatory remarks and backhanded compliments from family members, especially her mother, cause Summers to question her self-worth almost constantly, she told the Dam Yankee podcast, out now on YouTube, Spotify, Apple Podcasts, and more services.
"She doesn't think happiness is a factor for human beings," Summers says of her mother. "She think happiness come with success, but it doesn't. So I spent my whole life trying to value myself. If the value I produce is my self-worth, and then I don't produce value, I don't see self-worth," she told podcast host Zack Newmark. "If I achieve something, I'm happy for probably two days. Then I feel like, 'Okay, what do I do now to be useful, to be valuable?'"
Even though Summers is due to give birth to her third child in the coming days, and despite throwing out her back just a few weeks earlier, Summers pressed ahead with her first-ever European tour dates for her Lucky Pony 26 show. She went on to perform to packed venues in one city after another, even adding an extra gig during the Amsterdam stop.
[Summers describes performing in a wheelchair in Wisconsin, and still killing, at 26:00]
This drive to perform and please an audience is rooted deeply in the survival tactics she developed during a turbulent childhood. Raised in rural China, her home was fractured by an alcoholic father who frequently checked out, leaving young Summers to navigate both his neglect and her mother's resulting wrath. During one poignant segment, she recalls a traumatic day when her father pulled her out of class and brought her to a public swimming pool.
"And you put me in the pool and then you went to drink," Summers recounts telling her father years later. "And then I was floating in the pool until they closed the pool. And mom came and she thought that I skipped class and she beat me up."
When the young girl begged her father to confess his role to spare her the punishment, his response was heartbreaking. "I said, 'Dad, can you tell mom you took me from the class?' He's like, 'No, I don't remember what you're talking about,'" she recalls.
[Hear the heartbreaking confrontation with her father at 28:13, and later about his eventual path to sobriety]
As she prepares to welcome a new baby with her American husband, her mother's views on race and beauty standards remain an inescapable hurdle. Her mother was initially displeased by the pregnancy, but her tune changed dramatically upon anticipating the child’s skin color and gender.
"And then I said, 'It's a boy,'" Summers explains. "She's like, 'My God, okay. And it's gonna be a white boy.' In China we like fair skin. The darker your skin means you are poor, you work at a farm. The lighter your skin means you are royalty."
[Listen to how Summers combats toxic beauty standards at 30:07]
Despite the emotional scars, Summers transforms that generational trauma into razor-sharp, unfiltered comedy. She doesn’t shy away from parenting jokes that might shock more delicate audiences, leaning into the darkness to cope. While discussing her merchandise sales with Newmark, she casually revealed the hilariously grim purpose of the profits, given her six-year-old son's newfound interest in the family business.
"My son is trying to do stand up," Summers deadpans. "So those sales are for his rehab fund. Cause he's doing stand up, then I'll set up a cocaine and heroin overdose fund for him."
[Hear Summers describe how she's earning cash for the rehab fund at 1:03:08]
The resilience required to laugh through such pain makes this conversation a must-listen. To find out how Summers eventually made peace with her family's past and to hear the astonishing story behind her Hulu special, What Specie Are You?
It remains to be seen whether Summers truly takes a break from stand-up during her version of maternity leave, but no doubt she will provide updates on Instagram, YouTube, and her website.
This full episode of Dam Yankee can be seen on YouTube, or listen to the Dam Yankee on all major podcast platforms.
