Study reveals men are more dependent on relationships than women
Contrary to long-standing stereotypes, men are more dependent on committed relationships than women, according to a forthcoming study in the journal Behavioral and Brain Sciences. Researchers Iris Wahring, Jeffry Simpson, and Paul van Lange reviewed scientific literature on gender differences in heterosexual relationships, concluding that traditional roles have reversed.
The perception of women as the ones primarily seeking a partner has persisted in cultural depictions, from magazines to movies. Women are often portrayed as yearning for romance, while men are depicted as reluctant to commit. However, the study challenges this notion, arguing that men place more importance on securing a long-term partner and rely more heavily on relationships.
Paul van Lange, a psychology professor at Vrije Universiteit Amsterdam and one of the study's authors, outlined three primary reasons why relationships hold greater significance for men than women. He noted that women often take on more practical household responsibilities, a task many men find challenging to manage alone. Additionally, men tend to have stronger sexual desires, which are more likely to be fulfilled within a committed relationship. Most importantly, Van Lange explained that men find it easier to express emotional vulnerability and share their feelings in a stable partnership
Women, on the other hand, often maintain broader emotional support networks. They share feelings with friends, family, and acquaintances, reducing their reliance on a single partner.
Van Lange noted another stark difference between genders in dealing with relationship endings. "Men often feel lonelier after a breakup, while women more frequently report a sense of relief,” he said. Women also initiate separations more often—70 percent of divorces are instigated by women, according to the research.
The disparity extends to health outcomes. “Men’s life expectancy is more closely linked to having a committed relationship than women’s,” Van Lange added.
The study also highlights the influence of societal expectations. Historically, men have been discouraged from expressing vulnerability. “Our society emphasizes that boys should be less emotionally expressive,” said Van Lange. This social conditioning increases men’s dependence on intimate partners for emotional connection.
However, these norms are evolving. "We’re seeing a shift toward smaller differences between men and women,” he observed. Young boys are no longer universally expected to conform to stoic ideals, which could eventually reduce the gender gap in emotional reliance.
