More countries respond to "Netherlands Second" pitch
Dutch comedian Arjen Lubach's "America first, but Netherlands Second" video has triggered a world wide response. More and more countries are posting videos pitching their virtues in response to American president Donald Trump's "America First" stance.
The first countries to respond, after the Netherlands, were Switzerland, Germany, Portugal, Denmark and Belgium. Now Italy, Spain, Finland, Iran, Australia, Croatia, France, Luxembourg, New Zealand, Sweden, Norway and even Namibia have also posted videos with their pitch for second place. Even Mars is competing, though as far as we're aware it is the only planet to do so.
According to Italy, it's the sunniest country in Europe - so sunny, in fact, that Trump doesn't have to spend any more money on tans. "We have been conquered by France, Spain, Austria, Turkey, Greece, Carthage", the video boasts. "So if you want to conquer us Mr. President, you're welcome. It's so easy." The Italian video also mentions that it has the best mafia in the world - it's extremely organized and practical. "We can build your wall in three days."
Spain took the opportunity to introduce themselves as the "European Mexicans. The good Mexicans. 'Good Hombres'" The video adds. "Mexico. You don't like it. No problem. We have experience in that. In 1492 we massacred millions of Aztecs. We just did it. We infected them with a cold. We made a wall of virus and they paid for it. Brilliant!"
Finland points out that they have supermarkets called KKK. "You like to build walls. We have built walls. Well, fences. Thousands of miles of fence along all the roads. To keep the moose out. And we made the moose pay for it"
Iran tried to make sure Trump understands the difference between Iran and Iraq. "It can be really confusing. Which one did I already attack? Which one am I going to attack next. And that is what we are really afraid of, that you mix up the names and do something to us by mistake."
Australia begins to apologize to Trump over the phone call with their Prime Minister, saying that they will definitely fire him. "But we're very, very worried in so many ways because we see all these many countries like Germany - total losers - the Netherlands - very flat, not a ten. We see them trying to be number two. And we don't like to say this because we're so nice. But Europe's groveling is pathetic." the video says. "Nobody is bigger and better at kissing America's ass and calling it Baskin and Robbins than Australia."
Here follows a few more:
And from the only planet vying for second place on earth, here's Mars' video: